A few minutes ago I thought about the scene in that movie that was on HBO that I shared with you. I rarely think of you and when I do the only memory that instantly floods my mind is the most recent interaction we had. You know, the one where you got to take a big boy shot at being a monkey’s ass? I’m still thankful for it. It was the loveliest parting gift. You’ll never know how much that email took me to a place where I couldn’t feel anything but gratefulness that you aren’t in my life. You didn’t ruin me, Rob Szczesny.
The thrill of getting caught up in the mamihlapinatapai with you was intoxicating. You, on the other hand, just turned out to be toxic.
I was initially annoyed that I thought of that scene in the show because it triggered thoughts of you that I no longer have. But realizing no emotions were going to come flooding over me like they used to was a relief. Even so, I still wish I hadn’t wasted it on you. Not because I’m bitter or hurt, but just because it was going to be stupid fun. Stupid. Crazy. Fun. On the upside, at least I have the satisfaction of knowing you’ll never get to know just how much fun. I’ll always find a silver lining!
The “funnest” feline of them all,
Currently playing in the soundtrack of my mind: Sexy Noises Turn Me On by Salt-N-Pepa. Mmmhmmm.