I’m a wife of one, mom of two girls, highly strung, overthinking, oft sarcastic Southern girl. I love Jesus. I also love organizing, grape bubblegum, singing in the car, wrapping presents, and shopping online. I love things that are sparkly and shiny and fun, but I absolutely hate glitter. I have an extreme dislike for cats which is odd since that’s the moniker I’ve chosen to take on whatever this space is. It’s a long story that’s not interesting enough to talk about here.
I write here because I needed a place to sort out my thoughts. I wanted to gain a better understanding of why, in the midst of such a happy, normal, dreamy life I found myself in a situation I never thought I’d be in. I came here for a place to let my thoughts and feelings flow freely. It’s been a very confusing and painful life experience, but I know that God’s power in my life is made perfect in weakness, and I know there’s a purpose in the pain.
Over the course of the past year I’ve experienced all the “feels”. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after not feeling or acting like myself for at least 2 and a half years. I’m in the process of trying to figure out how to manage it and keep as many symptoms at bay as I possibly can. It’s tough because buttercream isn’t a part of the journey, and I really love buttercream.
The past 12 months have been fraught with emotional pain (much of it self-inflicted, I’ll admit). I’ve cried countless tears. I’ve been humiliated, betrayed, and broken. But this is also the year that I’ve experienced mercy and grace in the most profound way I ever have in my life. This year I got to learn what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I know what complete forgiveness looks like. And I’m incredibly grateful for all of it.
The human struggle is real. We’re all capable of doing unimaginable things. We’re also capable of running to the mercy seat of Christ, where He makes all things new again. Trials and pain are just part of the life everyone on earth will experience. With joy comes pain. If we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus He can be glorified in us, no matter how messy our lives are. He makes beauty from ashes. The process can be agonizing and the shame can be crushing at times, but He is faithful.
This blog’s purpose is to be a journal for me more than anything. It’s truly just the musings of a moron. A placeholder for my memories, thoughts, and feelings as I’m walking through this journey. It’s given me more clarity and hope than I ever expected. Words are powerful. So is my desire to go to sleep right now. And with that, I’m off for what I hope will be more than just a cat nap…Must.Get.Sleep. Time to dream…