I must confess, sometimes I find the confessionals on Scary Mommy are more beneficial to me than a therapy session. It gives me a strange feeling of comfort when I read through pages and pages of them. You know the old saying “Misery loves company”? Well, in a way I guess “crazy” does, too. Lately I’ve found myself really paying attention to how many people click on “Me Too” beneath each confession. The surprisingly high numbers just lend further credibility to my belief that I’m not really all that crazy after all. For months I felt a shame deeper than I can explain for being so sexually attracted to a friend. All that time I was absolutely certain I would never ever be able to forgive myself for it. I kid you not, I think the confessions in 285 characters or less have played a role in mending my broken heart. I read confession after confession that are so similar to my story and I see hundreds of “Me Too” clicks and I rationalize that there is no way possible all of those people can be monstrous human beings. It’s almost as if I take every “Me Too” click as a personal affirmation. Maybe the world is full of good people who have made some really bad decisions and I’m just one of those.
Your not-so-crazy friend,
Currently playing in the soundtrack of my mind: The Theme Song from Pee Wee’s Playhouse by Mark Mothersbaugh . The screen saver on my television has shots of Olympic athletes and one of the ice skaters that just flashed on my screen looked just like Pee Wee Herman, so of course the song immediately came to mind. I loved that show when I was a kid. It was freakin’ weird.